How to Photograph Your Puppy
- Remove film from box and load camera
- Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
- Remove pup from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle
- Choose a suitable background for photo
- Mount camera on tripod and focus
- Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth
- Place pup in pre-focused spot and return to camera
- Forget about spot, crawl on knees after puppy
- Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other
- Get tissue and wipe nose print from lens
- Take flash from puppy's mouth, throw in trash
- Put cat outside, peroxide scratch on pups nose
- Put magazines back on coffee table
- Try to get pup's attention by squeaking toy over your head
- Replace your glasses & check camera for damage
- Grab pup by scruff of neck and say NO! Outside!
- Call spouse to clean up mess
- Fix a drink
- Sit back on Lazy Boy and resolve to teach pup SIT and STAY first thing in the morning!
- Consider buying an older, trained dog.
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